The pain that will occur

will devastate you more than you think

what will be left of me is already going off of the brink

falling into a torrent of sorrow and pain

wrecking what little left is of my brain

leaving more brokenness and shame

Fear

I dread the thoughts i think

the doubts that dwell in me

whenever will I feel that peace…

the peace that was once upon me?

This phobia tears me from the inside

leaving me empty and dry

Broken Shattered Torn Confused

When will something become new

Is it true that I will always will move this way?

Will my mind always be in a state of disarray?

I spin around thought I saw you behind me

running through these corridors searching for you

the one I am missing the most

remember those days when we were smiling laughing as happy as we could be?

I wish you could see what could be

oh darling what could be

I wish you could walk with me

but I take too many steps too fast

it’s hard to keep up to pace with me

even running with everything

in your stride

maybe someday you will catch up

be able to pass me

or stroll hand in hand with me

watching the stars above us in the sky

Won’t you listen to me

what I have to say

is something that will make a difference

in all of this mess

I am always at the back of your mind

I am not something easily gained

won’t you try to see what I want to display?

don’t you want to understand what’s changing?

I am quite

hard to be heard

but if you try

try

you might learn

I turn walking away sad how things turned out to be

Can even a friendship mean nothing to someone being so mean?

I offer my heart felt gratitude

Always never trying to be rude

The next day you spit in my face

Now you wonder why I want all of this to be erased….

Someday we will be able to dance in the light

singing laughing twirling to what was meant to be

Darling can’t you see how much you mean to me?

I would rather have my mind flayed alive

than to make you cry

I would rather starve for days

than to see you in pain…

The feeling is knawing at my tearing apart my stomach

Making my curl into a ball and whimper

Where have you gone?

What am I missing?

Who are you?

What’s happened to me?

Why why why did this pain grow deeper? 

Not a favorite one I wrote I don’t like it it’s ok but it doesn’t feel like my style if that makes any sense.

The unexplainable joy I have when you are around me.

How long will this last though?

What tragedy will make us stray from this path?

That is a fear I have everyday that we will part seperate ways

I don’t want to watch you walk away

To leave me laying in the mud

wondering what happened that day

that day when you turned and went your way

Look with big eyes to the sky

watching for the stars to dance across the horizon

to the unknown shores across the sea

wondering where the streaks are landing in the vast beauty

Where they crash is where I am going to be

So run… run try to find me

Whatever it takes come I need you here next to me

I am under the great oak tree letting the leaves flow on me

Here I am walk walk closer towards me

I am wondering what your thoughts are right now. What’s flowing through your head? Are you curious of what is to be or are you pondering what is going to happen die because of disease?

Don’t forget to watch out for the hope that’s on the horizon if you don’t do that now you will crash on the shore of a barren wasteland across the shore from where you were meant to be born.

Follow the star shining across the sky guiding you in every stride don’t lose hope when all seems lost

Toss everything of you at the sea it will guide you close to me.

The currents flow toward what is left of me… piece together what you find of me and maybe I will be something…

Step

Twist

Turn

Sway with the flow of the music

Each step moving with the rhythm of music

Swinging with each chord that flows around you body

Let your mind be at ease with the melody reverberating through you

Staring at the ceiling wondering when those thoughts will appear again of the remembrance of the past of what was lost and what could have been.

I will stay here staring at the wall with a blank stare wondering where you have gone.

The music reverberating in the background striking broken cords reminding me that the strings that strung my heart are out of discord.

When will this pain cease?

Will it ever stop bleeding?