To write down my thoughts and how i feel scribbling what is in my head. To organize and make some sense on what I am thinking if I can even discover the things that are in my mind.
What makes up of this life and the effort we put in things seems so meaningless the farther we seem to get in our growth the more problems seem to arise and the more I tend to realize that what I consider as an accomplishment really is just nothing in the end.
Crowds.
I do like to be in large groups of people a lot I like to be with others and to meet a lot of new people but even though I am in a building with twenty thousand people who are similar to me and are all a lot of fun I still feel alone in the end. I have always felt alone. I don’t understand this either I mean I feel so alone and it isn’t the fact that I feel different or I am different, I know I am a puzzle piece that is out of place but really it’s that I really do feel alone. I feel like there is someone out there someday that might somehow really impact me and prove to me that I am not alone. I don’t know when that day will be but it will happen someday.
Here is a poem I am about to write…
You flay my mind alive with the cunning words you spew from your lips
reminding me that right now this is all just a glimpse
of the confusion that is will be upon me in the coming days
but you don’t seem to be able to see the growth in me the strength
the sturdiness like a tree hammered by the wind on the side of cliffs
like the snow flowing on the drifts in the frozen wastelands of bliss
I don’t understand why we fight.
When someone sees change in another or when someone sees something different about someone else they seem to go psycho and want to fight them as much as possible.