Filed under: Lovely

Choices

So lately I have been running around doing random things all week. I haven't really set goals yet to what I am going to get done... I am assuming that would probably be the best thing for me to do right now. Maybe I will set the goals.... soon? I need to think about what would be best to set. I have been mentally back and forth, up and down not sure what choice I should make right now. Where am I going to live? What am I going to do? What am I going to do for school? Will I be with the person I am with or will it change? Should I even make this choice or will I regret it?

The most frustrating choices of all of the ones I have are ones that I either have to make the choices I need to or the ones where you want to make someone else happy. I made that choice when I went to College. I started doing Nursing because I was being pushed and people thought that was best for me. That wasn't a choice I made. I let others mold me into what I was going to be and I am learning that more and more the more you let others mold you the less you are really you.

So now I am making that choice.... Will I do things that I need to do? or will I let everything fall into a pit of turmoil and despair trying to please others in my actions? 

Right now more than anything I need help to get on my feet. I need to go back to school and do what I felt like I should have done this entire time.

 

Joshua

My darling I love you so I wish you could see how much you mean to me...

You accept me for who I am and that is shocking enough for me to believe.

You are my love my darling and I wish I could show you how much you stand out to me.

 

Looking in a crowd of ten thousand you would be the one that stood out to me.

Love... You are my love darling don't you see?

 

You really are that important to me. Everytime I doubt things you always flare the candle up and it doesn't go out and you really do make me happy... I love you my falling star...

My friend

I kinda want to talk about one of my good friends I really miss right now...

She recently moved to Germany and I really miss her right now...

I love her~! She is like my little sister! I never got to wish her happy birthday!

I didn't even get to say goodbye to her because we couldn't see each other too busy and I wasn't nearby at the time.

I just wish she knew how much she meant to me~! She is one of my closest friends...

 

If you ever read this i hope you know I love you and miss you little sister! 

I felt silly for writing that...